On Vox: The Weather Plots Against Me!


101?  I hate July!  That’s just too darned hot!

I’m suddenly grateful that my nephew came last week while it was unseasonably cool.  We were not dying as we went out and about hiking and exploring and having fun.  We could fully enjoy ourselves with no fear of melting into the earth.

Now, however, I have a dilema.  After a great week tracking my excercise and food intake what am I going to do?  If I lapse now, it is bad news.  I can’t give up after only one week!

Not only that, but I have contracted a deadly illness.  The prognosis is grim.  Yes, the hermit batgirl has cabin fever.  The ants have crawled up my pants and set me to dancing.  Dancing?  Great, that’s cardio!  No, seriously.  I am bored.  I am antsy.  I want to get out.  However, I can’t afford to go to the pool every day or go shopping or anything of that nature.  I am on a limited budget here.

So what do I do?  How do I survive this dreaded illness?  How do I find something constructive to do.  I want to be moving.  The nice weather got into my bones and now the gypsy in me says it’s time to get a-moving.  I am tired of sitting at home with the kids book learning.  I want a break to do something fun.  However, I would like to be able to do it without risking death by sizzling sidewalks.

I want to bike, hike, whatever.  I want to get out there into the vividly bright world.  I want to revel in the beauty of the Earth that God so graciously gave us.  I want to explore things I have never explored before, like I did last week. 

I joke, but this is serious.  I actually have bad problems regulating my body temperature.  I do not know why.  As long as the weather is temperate, I am OK.  Once the thermometer starts to dip down or creep up I get into trouble.  The cold causes me vast amounts of pain throughout my entire body.  The heat makes me dizzy and I am prone to heat stroke.  With the hot flashes I get, I have even been known to faint at the drop of a hat in perfectly cool buildings.  Yeah, that’s embarrasing.  This makes it hard though to be going in and out of buildings during weather such as this.  I begin to get hot and cold flashes. 

I know, I’m a young babe.  (Don’t forget that I’m smokin’ hot!) I should not be suffering from hot flashes.  I do.  I always have.  Trust me, if I could pass them on to the ether, I would.  I do not want to even contemplate menopause.

According to the weather, it should be like this all week.  Yuck. 

Wish me luck.  I feel like staying in my nice waterbed and hiding from the attrocious weather.  Anyone want to order me a new sexy negligee from Victoria’s Secret so I can have something different to wear while blogging?

- Lady O 

Originally posted on ladyozma.vox.com

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