Ahh, the new millenium! So many wonderful inventions to make our lives easier and better. No longer do we need even a can opener, everything has pop-tops! Can life get much sweeter?

Yes it can and it comes with shiny little round discs. TV series on DVD! The only thing that can compare is the great invention of DVRs. And now? iTunes allowing you to purchase tv series for legal direct download.

No commercials, no waiting for a week (or longer these days!) for the next new episode, and watching on demand. Now this is the life! No longer do we have to live knowing there are more episodes that won’t air, we can view them on the discs!

The only problem? Sometimes these TV shows on DVD are not done well. For instance, changing the music on episodes. How do you take Rocketman from Greatest American Hero? Sometimes music really sets the mood of a scene!

However tonight I saw the greatest offender of them all. My netflix envelope arrives and I eagerly rip it open and slide out my latest disc into my hot little hand. Ahhhh, Twin Peaks, Season 1, Disc 1. Excellent! I’ve heard great reviews of this and everyone says I would love this show.

I’m not sure why everyone seems to think I’ll enjoy the show, but there’s nothing on TV and I’ll give it a whirl. Could be fun. I somehow missed this show when it aired on television.

Whoosh. Plop. Whoosh. Whir. And there’s my menu. I select the first episode, aptly named Episode 1. That was easy enough. First thing I hear? “Last time on Twin Peaks.”

Wait a minute. Stop the presses. What’s that?

Quick scan of the envelope and… “The two-hour pilot episode is not included.”

All right. I’ve seen some BAD television decision making before. But this? Exactly who came up with this plan? No, seriously. You. You are now added to the Lady Ozma Publick Flogging List. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Seriously, what good does putting a series on dvd discs if you neglect the pilot? ESPECIALLY when the pilot apparently sets up the entire premise of the show. IE: Some girl gets murdered, the FBI gets called in, and we have no idea who did it but it appears as though the whole town is up to no good! What if there are pertinent details to the whodunit aspect of the plot that I have now missed because someone decided to NOT PUT THE PILOT ON THE DISC?????

Also, so why are there only two episodes of this show on the disc? Please don’t tell me the script notes take up that much room? Puh-lease.

In summary we have now learned that yes, television executives are truly moronic in all things. I’d say this show MUST have been on FOX or UPN given this foolishness except I know UPN was not around then and FOX at least does right by their DVDs. They may abuse their shows while airing them, but we get treated well on DVD.

–Lady Ozma