My dad’s dietician has told him to go on the South Beach Diet. Also told him to stay the heck away from Atkins… which I found highly amusing since my inlaws swear by the Atkins diet even though they aren’t losing a pound and have been on it going on 18 months and claim all cardiologists and dieticians swear by it. Hmm… *SNICKERS*

So my mom decided it is easier to cook once not twice plus she needs to lose weight. OK fine, I could lose ten or fifteen vanity pounds and we won’t get into Sir Megabyte who STILL eats like he’s 21 and in the USMC. So we are apparently all going to start this diet so my mother bought the book and we’ve been pouring over it.

Here’s the problem. My mother? Lactose Intolerant big time. The woman eats cheese on a salad and she’s in the toilet for hours on end. Not good with 6 of us in the house if you want to ignore her digestion entirely. I’m allergic to sugar substitutes and am scared to try Splenda though I’m going to give it a go and pray that it doesn’t send me to the toilet for hours on end like other artificial sweetners. Of course if out and about forget it since most anything sugar substituted is going to have that junk I’m allergic to. Then the fact this diet is STILL high meat. Fine except my mother nor I process meat well. I can do chicken OK and fish is fine. But red meats? Forget it. Same for her. Of course poor mom doesn’t have a gall bladder or only part of one or something like that hence the meat thing. (In fact it was the increase of meat in my diet since DH is so picky that coincided with my weight gain… that and the steroids and c/s with Joram’s pregnancy.)

So here we have two people who can’t really eat red meat. One who can’t do milk products. One who can’t do sugar substitutes. Oh and cooking in oil also sets off our stomaches. And neither of us are real fond of eggs which appears to be about the only breakfast the first two weeks! And I’m sorry I will NOT do canadian bacon in the morning as ew… meat in the morning = wrong. I can’t even do bacon in the evening let alone in the morning! Forget sausage… too greasy so I rarely touch the stuff.

Anyway… this should be fun. Thankfully this diet debunks that crazy Atkins myth that all carbs are bad. All carbs are not bad. There are carbs your body needs. With our low iron that mom and I have we DEFINATELY need them. Otherwise we won’t have a lick of energy. (We both tend to run a 7 on the iron test. You are supposed to be like a 12 if I remember right… haha but we also run temps at like 96. I know my temp regularly is 96.8. And we have low blood pressure. Just something weird with the women of our family… we’re ALL like this! Grandma, Aunts, Cousins, etc)

I’m not sure when we are officially starting this. It should be an interesting thing. Especially with The World’s Pickiest Eater On Earth for a husband who will probably tempt me and buy stuff to alternate for dinner. We have such an eclectic bunch. Dad loves chicken and steak. Mom and I love fish. Sir Megabyte won’t touch chicken and fish. I don’t think any of us are huge fans of pork or turkey.

So instead of playing Clean Sweep today we spent the better part of the day pouring through this book. Hmmm… Crud… maybe I’ll start working towards Clean Sweep now… See what we can get done before Dad gets home.