Why does my mother spend so long in the bathroom? I mean what is she doing in there? It isn’t like she takes forever doing hair and makeup. And she has a bathroom in her bedroom and she won’t use it. She’s been in there for 17 minutes. I haven’t heard anything run so I know she hasn’t been bathing or anything. I mean seriously….

She does this at night too. I’ll be waiting to brush my teeth and use the facilities so I can go to bed and she’ll go in there for 20 minutes or half an hour or more.

I think I should put a ban on books in the bathroom. No reading material. I swear she isn’t doing anything in there but reading. I mean please! It is the bathroom. You go in, you do your business, you leave. Five minutes, tops. She’s not doing laundry, I havent’ heard anything for that.

Anyway… this is just making me crazy. We have two bathrooms. One hall one in the master bedroom. The only one who uses the bedroom one is dad. Now you’d think with six people in this house and five us of trying to use that bathroom she’d want to use the one in her bedroom. Less traffic and all that.

This just makes no sense to me. I’ve NEVER seen anyone spend so long in the bathroom. Heck I’ve been sick and spent less time in the bathroom. I’ve been pregnant and spent less time in the bathroom. She spends more time in the bathroom in one trip than I spend in there in one day. And that’s counting shower time!!

AUGHHHHHH.

I so can’t wait to move. This is one reason. I want my OWN bathroom again.

And no it isn’t like the bathroom is some new wonder. They put it in when I was in high school. We’re going on like I dunno 15 years? Why on earth does she not use it? Especially if she is going to spend 23 minutes (and counting!) in there? Thankfully the kids aren’t home. They are at a new VBS. But I’m sure they’d be going postal by now just by the shear fact she’s in there.

I’m sorry, no book is THAT good. I have read plenty of suck you in books and I must say no book is good enough to sit on the toilet and read. I’d rather my big fat butt be in a nice comfortable sofa or chair or bed. Where you can kick back. Not sitting on the porcelin throne. It is the only thing though that I can figure she’s doing.

And she knows we have errands to run. Now we have at best one hour before needing to get the kids. What the heck??? GET OUT OF THE LOO!!!