**LJ Idol Season 4 Week 12 Entry: Most Annoying Personality Trait**

Life grants me a gift I eagerly and greedily claim my own.  A gift that is illusive to many, and desired by all.

That gift is Time.  So what have I done with this gift?  Hang it on my wall to admire it?  Show to all my friends and tell them how great it is?  Did I let it slip away, like sand through an hourglass?

No.

I used that time to careful hone my quirks, my personality traits, my very idiosyncrasies that make me the wonderful person I am today.  As my luck would have it, each and every one of those completely irritate and annoy the world at large around me.

Score!  People need someone to drive them insane.  Someone to aggravate them.  Someone to make their blood boil.  A reason to take that pill for high blood pressure!  I make their life interesting.

Seriously, I know that my personality clashes with a great many people.  I do not know why, and I never mean for it to happen.  It crushes me when I learn I upset or offended someone, and it always inadvertent.  It can sometimes think that just my breathing, my living on this earth, is enough to upset someone.  I dislike it, but unfortunately have yet to figure out what I need to change about myself to keep this from happening.  The cause is sometimes the most common cause of all: miscommunication.  I ask myself how I can communicate with others better on a daily basis.

I spent this week pondering my worst traits.  As my own worst critic, I can now safely say I wallowed.  Pity, party of one, your table’s ready!

I needed some sort of topic.  I needed to wade through all my negative traits.  Like the Highlander, there can be only one.

I chose the trait I like the most about it, because it also causes me the most frustration.  That is how life works sometimes, often our best trait is our worst.

“The jack-of-all-trades seldom is good at any.” – Napoleon Hill

That is me in a nutshell.  The bard in any gaming group.  The jack of trades – master of none.  My interests lie… everywhere.  What haven’t I tried at this point?  If given the opportunity, I go for nearly anything.

I plod along in life, performing my daily tasks until… ooooh shiny!

Exactly.  You see my point.

Writing, photography, knitting, quilting, reading, walking, biking, geocaching, games, movies, television, motorcycles, guitar, computers, math, travel, history, politics, scrapbooking, astronomy…

The tip of the iceberg with me.  I can generally find something to talk about with a person, a common interest, something to do with them.

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else.” – Alfred Adler

You may call me flighty.  I prefer to think of it as though my wings spread open, catching the air, allow my soul to take flight. I go whither the wind takes me.  I may not know where I my destination lies, but I always have fun in the journey.

“Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.” – Robert Newton Anthony

I once heard that the only thing you can take with you when you die is that which you have learned.  I tell myself that having so many interests means I not just drink from the fountain of knowledge, I bathe in it.  I swim laps in the pool of water.

The truth is that I do not have the time to devote to each of my pursuits that I would like.  My guitar has not been touched since autumn, there is an unfinished costume on my sewing desk, the socks I am currently knitting are nowhere near completion, and now I have two new quilt projects I am anxious to make.  We won’t even get into the stack of books sitting in my closet waiting for me to read them.

I find it very frustrating to not have time for everything I want to do.  I find it equally frustrating to not be able to learn everything I want to learn.  I wish I had a solid talent, something to set me apart, something to be proud of.  Because I have so many interests, I cannot truly shine in any one of them.

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.” – Isaac Asimov

I know this aspect of me shall never change.  I must learn to accept it as a part of who I am.  Just as I must accept the traits in those around me that I find annoying.  If I can love others, then I can one day come to love myself.  I will continue to learn, to seek out knowledge, to shy from ignorance on any topic.

Just try to have patience with me as I try to have patience with myself.

There is no reason I cannot enjoy doing it all.

“Shoot for the moon .  Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” – Brian Littrell

–Lady O

Week 12 of LJ-Idol.  I hope you enjoy this post.  If so, vote for me in the polls!  If you do not know how, ask and I’ll let you know.  I am working hard to learn to embrace the good and the bad of myself.  I hope that you can do the same as well.

*EDIT* There was a poem that I wanted to include with this entry. I wrote it a while ago. But I can’t find where it is. Too many moves, I suppose. I will post it as a seperate entry later, if I find it. I did find a poem I thought I’d post, sort of in the vein of this entry, but not good for the entry itself. I am debating posting it.