This movie was awesome… if you take everything you know about Battlestar Galactica and the originator and throw it out the window then drive over it numerous times with a Mack Truck. Then dropped a nuke upon the remains.

Seriously… this movie was interesting if you get rid of all tries to be Battlestar Galactica. OK, so we will get my rant over the raping and pillaging of an awesome show over first. Then I’ll throw all of that out the window and give the movie a “That aside…” review…

1. Starbuck… main character and a MAN. And a good looking man. Not a really ugly woman. My husband even commented on the unattractiveness of this woman. Thank goodness they pretty much made her a bit part. She sucked.

2. Boomer changed from a black man to an Asian woman? Is this some commentary on Michelle Jackson? Hmmm

3. Boomer is a cylon? Say fricking what???? /smacks head

4. OK, creepy sexual tension between Apollo and Starbuck… *SHUDDER* That was way wrong. I may go vomit now.

5. Cylons can look like humans? What the freak???

6. What’s up with the change in time telling? Was that to make it easier for the stupid Americans? Did they decide we couldn’t figure out farscape “arns” and the like. Please people… we may be stupid in the states but we are not THAT stupid, OK.

7. NUKE NUKE NUKE NUKE. hey how about I nuke you… OK????

OK… those were just the MAIN issues. Now.. that aside… if this were just like “Cyborgs Attack” or “Battleship Amongst The Stars” or something and all references were taken away that involved the BSG universe… I’d have loved the miniseries. I really liked the idea the cyborgs being able to look like humans. Sneaky. Keeps you on your toes! Oh and it was refreshing to see a “futuristic” sci fi show where they actually had a faith. It seems to be the theme that people are Godless in the future. I also enjoyed the one guy who was like going psycho. I just kept expecting him to snap and go “They’re everywhere… everywhere I tell you man. They are like in my head and out here and all around us and everywhere man.” And start like eating his hair or his shirt or something… haha But hello, farscape rip? Seeing a badguy who was not really there? Yeah total and complete rip of Farscape.

Oh yes, what are the chances the one guy that is accused as a cylon so Guis can get rid of the cylon device (which they never did tell us what was) happened to actually be a cylon? Hello, lucky guess? Hmmm. And how is it that no one questioned some randomly new doohickey? It is a battleship for crying out loud. I mean duh… you can’t just stroll into the main part of the ship, climb on a chair and stick some huge white thing up without someone questioning you. My final really big rant of stupidity was the whole issue over the non FTL ships. OK, so Boomer is running around gathering up remnant survivors. Great. But they are in the middle of getting their collective butts whipped and no one thinks “These people on non FTL ships need to get onto FTL ships in case we are found???” I mean DUH. Double DUH. First thing I’d have said each time Boomer brought some group of people back would be “Your ship got FTL? No? Haul your butts and supplies onto these other ships?” “Yes? Prepare to get more people and supplies.” There were some other points I was like “DUMB move” over… but these were the biggest.

As unbelievable as it was, it was also kind of refreshing to see lo-tech stuff. Like the dot matrix spooled print outs. Every last one they got I laughed at. I mean, OK, yay lo-tech is nice. But come on, we even have better printer system than that!! HAHA

So let’s see. If you rename the show, rename the ship, rename the cylons, and get rid of the “call names”… I’ll watch a series… I swear, these people read the back flap of the book and nothing else. StarBUCK… man… OK? Cute.. OK? CUTE. Someone we WANT to look at. OK? Thank you.

So my review is: Battlestar Galactica Miniseries: Blech One and a half Stars. (that’s for special effects mainly)
My review for Battleship In Space: The Cyborgs Attack: Three and a half stars. (They had some really stupid writing… so they lost half a star. They’d have lost another half for that ugly lame Starbuck but they made her such a minor part and the others were at least attractive, so I’m going to let it slide.)

People… “Re-imagining” is fine… it is not an excuse to rape and pillage something that is good. OK?