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Digging my way out of the white page hole that is my word processor, I’d just like you to know that I’m in writer mode once more. I’m shackled to the computer and tormented by a sea of white covered sparsely with little black characters. How did I get into this predicament?

First, I blame Ravencon. While there, I finally gathered the courage to go to a workshop on writing. My first in far too long. Sitting there with a mere 100 words, written in ten minutes, designed to hook a reader into a short story, I felt the clenching of my stomach. The mere thought of reading this aloud, in a room of hopeful writers, in front of a panel of published authors, it was almost too much to handle.

Now, I sit with this hook. A piece of garbage, really, sitting on the edge of the hook. Can it truly land me readers? Will it catch anyone’s eye? Nevertheless, I shall overcome! I have committed myself! I will finish this short story. I will even follow Mur’s advice on I Should Be Writing. I will submit it. I do not know where. I will do it! I must!

I have set a deadline for myself. I plan to work on it this week. Namely tomorrow while my children are at work with their father. What else am I going to do with my time sitting in his office staring at the cubicle walls?

Now, I did say first. So what else is hiding in the depths of my maddened mind? Perhaps you do not want to know. Unfortunately, you have come this far. It is too late to step back.

The second reason I am in writer mode is far more innocent sounding. My children. You think, oh how sweet. Alas, no! I have boys! How can I get my sons to be excited about poetry? To be willing to write their own? I must work on them with what they like. No Shakespeare Sonnets for these two for girls have cooties you know!

We have embarked on a theme of pirates, princesses, and dragons. Why princesses if girls have cooties? The fiendish princesses came on the back of dragons! Just one more reason why you cannot trust a girl! My boys already plan to make sure their poetry is far superior to any lame princess drivel. They want brave princes! They want shining armor! They want adventure! This is acceptable to me. However, they insisted that if they must write their own poems, I must also submit assignments.

I wrote my first pirate poem yesterday. I must say, of all my writing, that was most surprising to me. I never would have pictured me writing a poem about pirates. Considering how terrible it was, I think I now know why! I shall endure though! Especially with the promise of dragons! Though I might have to throw in a fairy poem at some point… maybe, the boys will not notice!

I leave you now. To immerse myself once more in the depths of word processor hell. Seeking and praying for salvation promised by a finished product.

-Lady Ozma

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