Yes, that’s right.  You may all bow to me now.  I am your domestic goddess.

Just what qualifies me for goddess-ness?  Well, I am glad you ask.  After all, one should learn about whom one worships, right?  Yes, I believe so.

I arose and made myself beautiful, which of course was not hard.  As a domestic goddess, I’m always beautiful, even when scrubbing toilets.  It is just an innate talent.  Sweat drenched hair and rosy cheats from work really just gives me a lovely glow.  Don’t be jealous, there is no way you can achieve this on your own.  I am truly sorry to burst your bubble.

Because of my ability to touch things and heal them, I managed to get the sick van to start up.  OK, so it was not happy to start up.  It complains loudly these days of a weak battery.  That’s no excuse!  My chariot must be ready to take me where I so desire.  Start up, already!  Some may say it is luck, but I know better.  It’s the dulcet sound of my voice, and my van’s desire to please its resident goddess.

After making my children a nutritious breakfast, I proceeded to make seven dinners.  Yes, I fed my freezer tonight.  Seven premade dinners of tasty food for my family.  Now I can whip out these meals for an easy, pre-thought out dinner.  My family will have full and happy tummies.  This makes the family happy, and happy family means I get many wonderful tributes.  Tributes of hugs and kisses make me, the domestic goddess, happy.

I waved my hand and suddenly it appeared clean.  Of course, this was all the work it took.  We domestic goddesses can’t be seen with toilet brush in hand, you know.  My kitchen, my floors, my bathrooms… the cleaning blessings abound today.

Today, I even built a new piece of cabinetry for the kitchen.  This helped the cooking endevours greatly.  Of course, after all that cooking, I’m not even sure what my loyal menfolk ate.  I lived wholely on peaches and veggie crisps.  Mmmm, tasty.

Plenty for a domestic goddess to do in a day.  It’s not easy making the home someplace wonderful for your family.  But, someone’s got to do it.  Hopefully, there will be some wonderful tribute coming my way.  I accept all forms of kisses, hugs, and snuggles.

What’s in your wallet?

-Lady O

Originally posted on ladyozma.vox.com