Someone wise once said that. And how wise they were. We all battle with issues with pride, and generally it leads to bad things happening. Nothing good comes from being proud.
I’m not talking about the good pride here. The satisfaction of a job well done. The pride you have when you achieve something new, or someone you love achieves something new. That’s OK. We all deserve a pat on the back when we do well. What happens after that pat on the back though… that’s another question.
Everyone struggles with pride. It is against everything in our nature to experience humility. For some of us it is the inability to receive aid when we need it most. Others struggle with letting people know when we are in need. For still others it is allowing people to see us anything short of “perfect”.
I struggle with allowing people to see my home anything less than spotless. Which means, ever. I am a homeschooling mother to two boys. Housework is difficult to say the least. I demand perfection from my home’s presentation, and it is far from that. I’m embarrassed by the state of my home, honestly. Many have seen my home and are probably rolling their eyes, that’s OK. I’m learning to accept that at this point my home will not be perfect. I’m trying to be as welcoming as I can, regardless of the imperfections here.
My life has not been an easy one. Perhaps because I need to learn humility? Patience? I do not know. Maybe when I learn that lesson, my life’s path will be less rocky. I pray that I learn that lesson soon! However, I have learned that when there is illness, let people help. After two extremely difficult pregnancies, a husband who has been separated from me for work for extended periods of time, a horrible time selling a home, a child with cancer… need I go on? I have learned that sometimes the greatest blessings arise from letting others help me. None of us are here alone. Allowing others to serve us when we need it most blesses us as well as them. Many, however, refuse to take the help so freely offered by those who love them most.
Sometimes the aid we cannot accept due to pride is from the government. There is no shame in needing or taking this aid. It’s meant to help us get through times that are more difficult. If it helps you better afford to feed and house your family until you can do better, there’s no harm in taking the aid. How easy it is to feel that it means we are a failure, though!
I think the hardest place, where people struggle most with pride, is in relationships. How many times have we argued and been too stubborn to apologize? To take that first step to mend the broken fences? Friendships take an extreme amount of humility to maintain, and marriages even more. Not one of us is perfect, but it is very hard for us to accept that. To realize that someone might do something better than us, or if not better, just different.
My marriage is far from perfect. We’ve been married nigh on forever, it seems. OK, so it’s only been 13 years this September. When you are only 32 though, that’s creeping rather close to half your lifetime so nigh on forever works, right? We’ve had our up times. We’ve had our down times. We’ve even had our even ground times. It matters not where we are right now on this roller coaster, it only matters how we handle it.
My husband and I need to be more humble with each other. Through humbling ourselves, relinquishing our pride, we can better learn to love one another. As you put your spouse’s needs and desires above your own, your love for them will deepen. Marriage is a two way street, and you both need to give as well as take. When you give to your spouse, serve them, help them in their time of need you can learn the pure love that Christ has for each of us. Likewise, allowing your spouse to aid you when you need it most, to help you find peace and happiness, can help them to not only love you more, but to show you their love.
Fight against your pride. Let others see who you really are. Let them serve you when you need it. Learn to put others first. Learn to truly love your fellow humans. Let arguments go by the wayside, and take that first step to make amends. Allow someone into your messy home. Whatever it is you struggle with, let it go. Those who know you, and love you, will still continue to do so. It’s OK.
Originally posted on ladyozma.vox.com