**LJ Idol Season 4 Week 5 Entry: Sexual Ethics**

Today, many parents leave the teachings of biology to the clinical lessons learned in the schools. From medical terms to movies regarding monkeys, our youth are supposed to glean the complicated, and often confusing mores involved in the intricate dance of human reproduction. Is it any wonder that the morals of today’s culture seem like a hodge podge of conflicting ideas, data, and theory?

 

 

When, as a girl, I blossomed into young womanhood, my mother sat me down to instruct me in the proper behaviour of a young lady. To shed some light on the physiological changes within myself and on what I could expect for years to come. With our social status, we could bear no faux pas. Imagine the social gaffe if, left uneducated, I were to arrive home pregnant and unwed!

 

 

She began as all parents commence such talks. Ahhh, the Praying Mantis and the Black Widow. I am sure you remember “the talk” as well as I do. Did we not all dread it? Why on earth do parents seem to think talking about a praying mantis or a black widow spider might help a young person understand the mysteries of the human body?

 

 

Let’s analyze the proper ethics, the important lessons, imparted from this well used analogy.

 

 

First, as long as he is smaller than me, all is well in the Land of Coitus. Yes, men out there, size does matter just as much as the motion in the ocean. Deal with it. While we may not be ready to whip out the rulers, women will look you up and down and take a mental measure to share with her friends at the next social gathering.

 

 

Second, submission is expected. When the male is more submissive, it allows the female to truly have her way. And the eventual outcome is less painful for everyone involved. Lesson learned, give your woman what she wants and you will suffer far less. A truly submissive male makes for an easier meal, which ensures no lapses in his fidelity.

 

 

Third, post-coital bliss leaves a man at his most vulnerable. Some women might just use this as an opportunity to get something they want such as promise of a vacation or a marriage proposal. We should, however, learn from our examples, the best use of all is to sate that appetite from all that work. It takes a lot of effort to make men feel proud of what they are doing, and that makes a girl hungry. Rip off his head for a tasty snack and you never have to worry about if he will call you in the morning.

 

 

So, as my mother gave me the usual Mantids and Spiders lecture, I learned several important life lessons. Choose well, for he shall not only father your children but be your supper. Take what pleasure you can get from a man, because after words they aren’t good for much else. The males of the species survive because woman cannot live by toys alone.

 

–Lady O

Originally posted on ladyozma.vox.com