For the last few months, I’ve experienced the *joy* of handling music at my local church.  This means I get to find musical numbers for the Sunday service, ensure an organist/pianist in place to accompany singing, and choosing/leading music in the women’s meeting.

Now there’s some pretty cool perks to this job, such as maintaining a long streak of not singing “As Sisters in Zion”.  There’s nothing wrong with the song, I just hate singing it because it seems the “fall back song” and thus overused.

This means I’m listening to all music a little more carefully. As a dancer, I don’t read music. I don’t even hear music. I feel music. On the bright note, I am completely competent in counting to four.  On the not so bright note, I honestly don’t know what number a word falls on in singing, or a note.  Yeah, I’m just counting up there. My eyes are closed because all those notes dancing on the page just becomes too confusing.

I took a class at university to learn to conduct music. I thought this might prove useful as I joined a lay ministry church. Little did I know that it would make it nigh on impossible to effectively conduct music in church since 1. they didn’t teach us to read music 2. they taught us proper conducting of an orchestra and choir which is about as close to leading music in church as my chihuahua is to an elephant.

Due to my dance background, let’s just say there were portions of conducting I excelled in far beyond any other student. However, my lack of a true musical background crippled me in ways that left my professor not only using many explicatives, but vowing to “never attempt to teach a dancer to conduct music again.”  Let’s just say the Weird Al School of Music Conducting is right up my alley, but that’s sort of difficult for those wanting to actually BE conducted. (Seriously, hit up YouTube if you need to see Weird Al conducting the Jr Philharmonic. Just don’t drink anything or you’ll snort it through your nose.)

How does this relate to a pre-Rapture playlist? Well, for those who are living under a rock and unaware – many  Christians believe that a glorious event, The Rapture, will pluck them from this earth to Heaven all at one time.

In event of Rapture, this car will be unmanned!

Several current predictions pinpoint the Rapture as falling on May 21st, 2011. Take that Mayans. You and your super accurate calendar… you are off by a year and a half! NEENER!

Here I am, a lowly Mormon girl in charge of music at my local congregation. Now, obviously, as a Mormon I’m pretty sure that cuts me right out of the goodness of the Rapture due to the whole cult thing according to most Evangelicals. Darn, I could use my Saturday schedule freeing up a bit. But with hundreds of thousands of people simply vanishing tomorrow, it means the end of the world. And I’m feeling not only fine, but I’m feeling music-y. How about you?

So what’s on your “End of the World” playlist? Tomorrow morning I’m covering a 5K the area LDS Churches set up. I need tunes to survive a 5K. So check out my last day on earth, pre-Rapture playlist!

**Disclaimer: These are probably not the most Sunday Service appropriate. If you’re still hanging around the Earth on Sunday, don’t say I recommended any of these as the opening number to your worship service!**

Number 5: You Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone) by Cinderella

In event of Rapture, Zombie Apocalypse, or you know… things that are truly frightening and likely? This is probably a good sentiment.

Number 4: Eve of Destruction by The Turtles

I had a teacher that loved protest songs and made us sing them at the start of each day. Blame her on this song by The Turtles.

Number 3: When the Children Cry by White Lion

For those concerned about crying children losing their mommies and daddies in the Rapture… the one thing Rapture believers seem to agree on is that kids get a free ticket to the Big Event. I don’t care if you believe in the Rapture or not, se it as a good reminder to hug your child like you’ll never see them again. Because life is too short not to do so. Sorry, Cancer-Kid Mom moment. PS I’m blaming my love of this song on my growing up in a First Strike Zone. It just resonates to me.

Number 2: 99 Luftballons by Nena

I’m linking the 2009 video in German because:

• It’s more recent so obviously more relevant to the Rapture,
• It’s super awesome
• No 80’s hair.
• English? There’s English lyrics? They always played the German version on the radio here in DC. This song doesn’t sound right in English

And here you go! THE NUMBER ONE SONG on anyone’s end of the world playlist, but especially one earmarked for waiting out the Rapture – hey it even mentions the 6-o-clock hour:

Number 1: It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by REM

Have a great last day on Earth! Party like it’s… um… 2011?

–Lady O