I have Klout, or so says the internet geniuses.

What does this mean? Not a whole lot. Except every once in a blue moon I get some free swag to try. And talk about if I like. Spread some buzz.

And to think, I was mocked for trying to score some free books, products, and whatever to review when I ran that parenting site. I was on to something!

So what did my blogirrificness and social media butterfly status garner this time? A year’s supply of deodorant. Yeah, it’s all glamour here. Feel free to be jealous. I know it’s just what you wanted.

I have a secret, sort of. A lot of people know about it, I’m really not so good with secrets. I have this crazy vascular condition. It kind of sucks actually. My body doesn’t regulate temperature very well at all. Once I’m cold or hot, I stay that way. For ages. When I’m hot, I don’t sweat unless it’s beastly hot. Last week walking up that hill at Arlington National Cemetery a normal person would soak through their clothes but I barely felt clammy. And sick.

So mostly I get these insane hot flashes, want to die, and then pass out. In stores. In November. Fun, right? Not so much.

Just because I don’t pour sweat (ewww!) doesn’t mean I don’t stink. Trust me, I think I stink. I’m a huge fan of deodorant. I could never go au naturale. Kudos to those brave enough to try. I’ve done the whole “I forgot to take some to the pool” and felt oookey until I got home.

Secret wants to help me with my secret. They want me to try their “Clinical Strength” deodorant. This stuff claims to be waterproof. In fact it specifically says on the box that this stuff laughs in the face of heat, humidity, and water. (I lie, it really says “outlasts” but I think they should change the wording to “laughs in the face of”, doesn’t that sound better? Really, they should hire me.)

In case you were wondering, a year’s supply is four boxes. Go start your stockpile now! Maybe I’m the only weird person that was curious what “a year’s supply” was when I found out they would send me that.