Beware your first share of Smuggler’s bounty!

Who the heck doesn’t love Star Wars? If it’s you, just go away now. I can’t even…

It isn’t just me into these darn mystery boxes. My whole family digs them. Not gonna lie, I’ve been having to tell myself for months I cannot afford another box just so I wouldn’t sign up for this.

So my oldest did instead. Yes! That means it comes in to my house for me to fondle and drool and squee over. And if something is epic, I will just force choke him till he agrees to pony up for his free rent.

I mean I carried this kid for 8 months in my womb and put up with his crazy antics for the last 19 years. It’s all cool. I weild a purple light saber for a reason.

Here you go, dear readers. Behold, fresh off the MF for your pleasure. Solo may have broken new records getting this to us during the holiday rush.

• First Order Imperial Pilot Patch: I love that these Funko boxes come with patches. I’m a patch lover.
• Kylo Ren Enamel Pin: I also dig pins. Caramon is all about the dark side, so this was perfect for him. He’s pulling for Ren to pull Rey to the dark side by Episode 9.
• Forest Ren Tee: I love the black on red for ultimate dark side feels.
• Pop #91 LE Chrome Captain Phasma Vinyl figurine: we both agreed this was way more awesome in person than we imagined. Dang. Think he would notice is this joined my collection?
• Pop #89 First Order Tie Pilot: To match your kick-the-rebels-in-the-force patch.

You know what this box makes me want to do? Go watch Star Wars again. Dang that was a beautiful movie. If you haven’t seen it yet, spoiler alert, Vader is Luke’s dad. Humph. I’m so over people whining about spoilers. Just haul your butt to the theatre.  It’s worth the price of admission. Trust me on this. If you can’t afford it, sell your first born to the 501 like me.  There’s worse things your kid can become than Vader’s secret apprentice.

Just trust me on that one.

–Lady O