Apparently there was one of those Sports Bowl things a couple weeks ago. That means obnoxious commercials. For weeks. Apparently people spend fat stacks of cash on these things. Do they even realize that a Sports Bowl ad that is redonkously stupid will have the opposite than desired reaction from viewers?

I turned on my television the other day and was subjected to some sort of weird dancing CG edited monstrosity with baby legs, a dog face, and a monkey body.  What the heck is that? This does not even freaking make sense and whatever you are selling, I’m now horrified and will never buy your product.

It’s like the “sponge monkey” from Quizno’s. I’ve still never eaten at a Quizno’s after their diesased rat creature. I get that the Taco Hell chihuahua was loved, the Geico Gekko is awesome, but not every company can pull this off.  When I think of food, I do not want to think about diseased rats.

I surf with Ad Block Pro to help reduce the advertisements. The good news is this means I’m not subjected to a lot of boobs, flashing garbage, and things I could care less about. I refuse to watch live TV and be subjected to well, sponge monkeys and weird dancing dog-monkey-baby things.

All hail the people who found ways for us to avoid advertisements. Now, on the rare occasion that I see an ad, I’m blessed with the ability to snark on it and mark something down as a “not gonna buy”.  Especially since advertisements so rarely make any sort of logical sense.

A recent “sponsored post” on Facebook, AKA We’re Trying To Work Around Your Ad Block Pro advertisement, was for a pee-guard panty.  All of the models looked like super fit, 20-something models. Somehow, I don’t think that’s your demographic, Pee-Panties.

Another “sponsored post” all over my social media ended up in my offering comment retaliation.  Hello, Dollar Shave Club.  Yes, I like the idea of you mailing me razors. I love a good shave, and I hate having to go to the store.  Fantastic idea.  However, your snot-faced “Stop paying the pink tax” and “no more girlie razor” stuff is rubbish.  How about the fact that I LIKE my girlie razors? The so-called “pink tax” isn’t really any different than a plain silver razor. I also like the idea of knowing my razor from the razors owned by the Important Men In My Life.  I have two nearly grown sons.  One day I might have a special guy friend.  I’m surrounded by men and so when I pay a “pink tax” it helps me keep my stuff away from the guys.  I don’t ever want to use their razor and I don’t know a guy out there who wants to shave with his girlfriend/wife/mother/sister’s razor.

Dollar Shave Club, you get no love from me. Stop being snotty.  I like skulls.  I like computers.  I even like fast cars.  But, I actually do like my purple and pink.  Suck it.

I tell them this in a comment every single time that stupid sponsored post comes up. Why? Because I’m clearly not their targeted market and I think the ad is crappy.

Clearly, I was not cut out for advertising.  The most I know about advertising, outside of what is forced upon me as a consumer, is what I learned on Bewitched. Really, that meant the ad exec just had his witch wife twitch her nose and fix things for him. This seems like the best option when it comes to advertising because whatever is going on today is the fail.  It’s like they all know we use ABP and DVRs or something.

Ad Fail Discussion: Let’s get the hater hate going.  Feel free to share in the comments the worst advertisement you’ve felt subjected to- computer, tv, radio, whatever.  It’ll be cool.

–Lady O