I’m backdating my entries to the dates they happened.

Today is the 5th of July. We totally missed the 4th of July fun of fireworks because my inlaws live in freaky TN and apparently Pulaski is so unAmerican that they do not do fireworks. How wrong is that? Hello, anyone from Pulaski seeing this? You guys are horrible! How can you NOT do fireworks? Don’t tell me you can’t find fireworks, there are a million firework stores in your frelling state!

So anyway today we had Doug’s cousin’s wedding. Her name is Lucretia. I know, poor girl. She goes by Lugi. (That’s pronounced Lou-G.) Well she has grown up to be a rather pretty young woman. She made a completely beautiful bride. Even though there were a couple of bridal gown tragedies. Her gown was something else, let me tell you. She spent a fortune and you could tell. It was simply gorgeous. But she accidently spilt foundation on the skirt of it! Ack! You couldn’t tell when she walked down the aisle so it was OK. She also burned a hole in her veil with a cigarette. Sir Megabyte noticed it but I didn’t. I was too busy admiring how gorgeous she was.

The ceremony was interesting to say the least. First of all I felt a tad over dressed from Sir Megabyte’s family. Yes my MIL told me “small country wedding” which didn’t really tell me anything about dress. Well the bride’s brother was in an old pair of blue jeans. Sir Megabyte’s younger sister’s boyfriend was wearing coloured jeans with holes in them. Sir Megabyte swears the boy wasn’t wearing knickers but I’m sure that is his imagination. Or at least I hope it is.

Anyway, this was in a baptist church. But the preacher kept doing very Catholic things including doing the Catholic cross. And there were Gideon pamphlets all over the place. So we were kind of shaking our heads. We’re not so sure what faith it was after all.

The ceremony was short. Basically the guys all came in during a song played on a boom box by the altar. Then the bride’s attendants walked rather hastily down the aisle. Then two little ring bearers came down the aisle pulling a wagon. In the red wagon was the bride’s daughter in a big frilly white dress. She’s just under a year. Her name? Heaven Leigh. (I’m pretty sure that’s the right spelling of the middle name.) I know, I know… *GROAN* But she’s a cutie.

Then the bride came down with her father to a country song. They basically exchanged rings and vows and that was it and then, voile… the two were married. Short and sweet. Which was probably good with all the kids that were there. I’ve been to weddings that are really long and involved and I don’t think all the little kiddies would have survived! HEHE Anyway, it was a nice simple ceremony.

The couple didn’t do a receiving line but I went up and told the bride how lovely she was. I’m very happy for her. I hope this guy is as nice as he and his family looked.

The one thing that bugged the snot out of me was when we went into the reception hall. The couple goes up to do the whole cake thing, well a bunch of people clustered right on top of them to snap pictures. Hello? What about the other 50 people there? Don’t we get to see? I always thought that was a sweet thing and I enjoy watching the couple feed each other. So romantic. Well I didn’t get to see it. The photographer hopefully was able to get a picture. *ROLLS EYES* That just really bugged me. I thought it quite rude.

The bride’s attendants didn’t wear matching dresses. Sir Megabyte’s younger sister was one of the attendants and she wore her prom dress.

Well the wedding was dry (no booze) so everyone from Sir Megabyte’s part of the family went over to his older sister’s home so they could drink. Then they set off some fireworks but it was a rather sorry display when you compare it to what you get in the city. I’m not sure why they think so, but I get the distinct impression that they think that we are weird for going to city fireworks and not doing it ourself. Well we wanted cool patriotic music and so we tried to sing some patriotic rock songs and we got weird looks from his family. So then they started singing children’s songs that serve no patriotic purpose. Like Little Bunny Foo Foo. Weird. Whatever. Well anyway, as it turns out, Sir Megabyte’s younger UNDERAGE sister got in trouble with her alcoholic boyfriend who is trying to be sober for drinking. Well maybe he didn’t need to spaz out but she needs to understand that being with an alcoholic means drinking is never going to go over well. Plus I’m sorry but she is underage. But the family doesn’t seem to think that the law matters. They were like “Well she was with us and she wasn’t driving so it was OK.” Personally I think following the law is more important. It is one thing to give someone a sip of wine or champaign once a year on New Year’s or whatever, but to give full drinks? No way. She had several.

Ugh, me and the inlaws. We just are so different.

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