Time for a Caramon heme-onc appointment.
Ugh. I dread making this phone call. I dread the appointment. The rest of the time? I can pretend I have a normal healthy child. But this just reminds me… no I have a child who was very sick. And I fear… what if he gets sick again? Especially right now with so much OTHER turmoil in my life and his life. we’ve got the crazy life going on. And then that? Mega crazy.
May 17th. OK. Breathe. It will be fine. It will be toatlly fine. My baby is OK. He’s going to be fine. The cancer is gone. It isn’t going to come back.
And then I talk to my mom tonight. She didn’t know that I had just gone through making the appointment today. And she told me she walked into her gas station this week and there was a jar there for a sick child. She looked at it and the lady who works there my mum knows, she says “Oh this child has a Wilms Tumor and it has come back.” My mom broke down right there. The woman is like ‘OMG, are you ok?” And my mum says “That’s what Caramon had. A Wilms Tumor.” The attendant knew that he’d be sick, had canceer, but didn’t realize it was the same disease. My mum was telling me this and my throat just tightened and I couldn’t breathe and… well I’m glad I know because otherwise I’d move out there and I’d walk into that gas station and see that and probably would have had a nervous breakdown on the spot.
Of course with Caramon being ill this week doesn’t make it easier. Now every time he says he hurts I get scared. Will this ever go away? Will I ever just be able to enjoy him again. Or will I always feel anxious when I look at him.
That’s it… I think it is going to be Friday lay in bed and snuggle while watching a movie night. He’s my baby and I need some time with him. Maybe it will calm me down.
So anyway… watch me as May becomes mega high stress as I await the results of his appointment and pack and hope the house sells and wrap up things in Ohio.
Oh gosh, please let my Caramon be OK. Please let him be fine.
Lady Ozma's Journey 
dani_ellie said:
I’m sure he’ll be fine. 🙂 (Positive thinking does a lot more than we realize…)
Both you and he will be in my thoughts the next few weeks. And tell him Prue’s watching out for him. 😉
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swampfaye said:
Even if he is sick, babe, better to know about it early than have it hit you suddenly, right? We have a neighbor who’s son has lukemia and he’s currently in remission, but his mother has the same worries as you do. Just think positive. It really does wonders – he needs to think positive too.
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tx_belle said:
{{OZ}}
giving you a hug
**hugs**
he will be fine
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strokeyourbod said:
Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize that one of your boys had had a tumor. I’m sure everything will be fine, you and your family will be in my thoughts!
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kayeita said:
A whole bunch of *hugs* your way, Ozma!
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tsukikage85 said:
Best of luck! *hugs* Lafiel sends her best wishes as well. ^_^
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Lady Ozma said:
Thanks!
And thanks to Lafiel as well. Caramon will love that one! 🙂
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Lady Ozma said:
((HUGS)) I’m sure
but it is just so scary. Tense. But I know he and I both feel better knowing Prue is watching from *up there* as well!
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Lady Ozma said:
Oh many hugs to your neighbour
It is a hard road…
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: {{OZ}}
I hope so, and thank you ((HUGS)) Back
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Lady Ozma said:
Thank you
Yeah, he was diagnosed back in August 2001. It’s been a long time since then. I swear I aged about 10 years in the last almost three years!
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Lady Ozma said:
Thank you
It is appreciated.
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withoutanet said:
((((HUGS))))
he will be ok, it won’t come back.
positive thinking is powerful.
it cuts down/helps combat the fear.
i’m sorry this is hanging over you until then, but i am sure he will be in the clear. *hugs to all*
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swampfaye said:
Re: Oh many hugs to your neighbour
I don’t know if this is comforting – but Ben, my son, is this boys best friend in the neighborhood and the two of them always make jokes about Stephen dying. “I can’t play with you, you’re dying” – at first I was really REALLY shocked to hear thisbut decided to let them two deal with Stephen’s illness the best way they thought and not interfere with my personal prejudices or thoughts on the matter. Does that make sense?
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Lady Ozma said:
Thanks
BTW… how are you guys doing?
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: Oh many hugs to your neighbour
Is he that bad off? That’s so sad. 😦
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swampfaye said:
Re: Oh many hugs to your neighbour
He’s in remission – he plays just like all the other boys – but you know he could get sick again, I guess. It just was shocking hearing the way the boys talked about it so casually…
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withoutanet said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
we are well, i guess. i.. when it comes to my mom, i had a med school friend that expressed that my mom should have a hysterectomy, and she’d, most likely, be fine three weeks later. my mom’s doctor just wants to remove the two tumors, though. i really haven’t had much time to speak with my mother about it, aside from talking to her about getting a second opinion. adam and i (my name is karen, btw, in case you hadn’t seen it someplace {i don’t really say it everywhere}, i usually use the handle pixie (though there are quite a few of us) rofl… sorry. thanks for asking how we were… lol. i am having a hard time doing more than the minimum (and the minimum minimum at that) lately, but i am still moving. well, i’ve rambled a bit, and received a UPS package, even.. (the cushion!!!!) so imma be back later. =)
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: Oh many hugs to your neighbour
Hmmm I don’t know that that is right… I would not like someone talking like that to my son. Especially since he is cancer free… therefor not dying. i’d have been shocked myself!
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
Yay! Package and new cushion! 🙂
Can’t they do even just a partial hysto? At least then she has her ovaries for hormones… I dunno… anyway… defiantely get a second opinion. I mean your mum doesn’t really need the plumbing does she? I could understand a woman like our age them only wanting to take the tumors… that way if she wanted children she could have them, but your mum is kind of past that now… Anyway… that’s just me. Haul the system out and get it over with.
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withoutanet said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
the first night she told me about it, she sounded happy to have a hysterectomy. its her doctor. that’s what bothers me. i am of the opinion that she should get a second opinion… (yesh, that sounded funny) so, i don’t know. i want her to do the best thing, not the first thing. if a hysterectomy would be best, get it over with.
*sigh*
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
I say get one. I mean look at what happened to my BIL. Oh he’s going to Vanderbilt and they are awesome, no worries. Ooops they misdiagnosed his cancer and then let him go far too long without getting better and then basically sent him home to DIE.
I’m thinking there will be a law suit there. Thank goodness for second opinions!
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withoutanet said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
sometimes medical people irk me. i just have complicated issues with them, like, sometimes they look at me like i am a complete and total retard because i do not have the medical knowledge they have. grrr…. i still want to take care of my body, help me out here, lol. good luck to your brother in law. i hope to goodness my mom speaks with someone else, but i can’t exactly force her.. hmmm. *sigh*
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
My BIL seems to be doing well. But the issue now is recovery. And hoping no new growth. They were actually able to get it all. WOOHOO. So we’ll see what happens. But my gosh it tells you a lot.
Doctors can be wankers. They seem to think that they are God and know it all. And half the time? They are wankers. I have decided though that Tn doctors are the worst.
My BIL was misdiagnosed and left to die by the oh so “great” Vanderbilt. My MIL was told by her family doctor that sometimes little boys “just pee blood, don’t worry about it” and he paid no heed to the quite visible to the naked eye LUMP in his abdomen where his kidney was. I mean.. duh? Then there’s the ER doctor that wouldn’t give me anything for shock after they made me sit in the lobby for half an hour bleeding profusely. Top it off with my SIL who’s doctor kept telling her “Oh you are dilated to a centimeter, you’ll have this baby within the week” even three weeks before her due date! Erm first kid? You dilate forever before!! I mean at that point I’d been at two for a month and still had another over month and a half to go before my due date! Geeze! Oh and then her doctor told her “It doesn’t matter, since your mother couldn’t have children naturally you won’t either.” Um, know genetics play a part but you could at least see what happens!! And they never let my MIL try after Renee. Just said she wouldn’t be able to. What happened to every woman/every pregnancy is different? Idiot docs.
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withoutanet said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
shoot, and here i was thinking east texas doctors were the worst!! i have never seen people with attitudes like these, truly! abilene (my tx hometown-sorta) was voted to be the top five in the nation for friendliest!! i’m accustomed to nice folks, rofl.
speaking of pregnancy and actual medical needs, our local emergency room is a joke. everyone drives the 45 minutes, at least, to a ‘real’ hospital. it’s a trip…
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
HAHA… yeah sounds like TN where inlaws are. No way will i go to that er again. EVER
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withoutanet said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
sha, i am so tired of bad doctor experiences… like with adam, we have been to several different doctors for various infections/problems… and they seem to look at him as if he should be put of his misery, like he doesn’t deserve to live. it sounds outrageous when i write it like that, but it’s true. they won’t even meet his eye, directing all of their questions/statements to me, etc..the same guy said i just go to medical school.. what the fark? i am not paying you $100, minimum so that you can tell me to go to medical school!!!! GAHHHHH. LOL
i’m ready to be in contact with medical people who have at least dealt with paralysis or spinal cord injury patients. it is so frustrating! i knew we weren’t in for a good time when we paid a visit to the urologist and he had a mountain dew on his desk. mountain dew being the absolute worst soda that you can drink (besides jolt cola, lol) for your urinary system.
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Lady Ozma said:
Re: thanks+you’re welcome
omg… no offense but that is just funny to me. Doctors are so dumb. The urologist drinks the Dew… I’ve seen oncologists smoking. Helloooooo??????
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