So there I was, lounging about in my water-bed, minding my own business while surfing through my gmail.  The mountain of virtual messages piles high pretty fast when you are as awesome as me. It is, of course, all fan mail and not really just an overflow from the eight thousand email loops I am on. 

I was on the dozenth letter describing how I am just beyond awesome, when I receive a frantic IM.  I know, it’s just so hard to be me, right?  So I pull up the IM and it’s my good buddy at college.  Apparently his latest assignment has him quivering in his boots and he needs a bit of help.  I’ve a minute or three, after all, it’s just me lounging around, right?  So I promise my help.

He outlines the topic.  Fascinating.  He needs to create a blog and write entries.  I have absolutely no experience with that.  None, whatsoever.  Right?  Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.

So he sends me his work.  Oy.  The run on sentences… I quickly help him to clean things up.  We rework the entire thing.  We spent most of the day planning what he could write about for several entries.  I gave him three examples to show him how to string things along.

This boy fancies himself the next Seinfeld.  He’ll have the blog about nothing.  That’s awesome.  After all, I think that’s what I have.  Is there a purpose to my blog?  Other than the insane ramblings of one housewife?  Hmmm, I don’t know.  Feel free to weigh in on that, dear readers.

I decided, these were too great to not share.  Of course, they may only amuse my twisted soul.  I’ve decided to enter them in as separate entries.  They will appear over the course of the next few days.  I’m signing them “Bob” as a pseudonym for my friend.  I only hope they will amuse you, as well.

Want one of my bonbons?

-Lady O

Originally posted on ladyozma.vox.com