*Disclaimer – I said long ago that I would not discuss my marriage on my blog because I didn’t want to start drama. I am changing this because in order to work on me, I need to talk about my marriage. I won’t do a very good job of improving me if I neglect me as a wife. If you do not like this, then you do not have to read it. Keep your drama for the stage.*
2010 ended and 2011 started off with… well… a migraine. Joyful, right?
So how are things in the Kingdom of Sir Megabyte as the clock ticks over to another year?
It’s another day in paradise!
Too bad there’s trouble in paradise.
That’s right. I said it. And you know what, I know that I’m not alone. And that’s what this blog entry is all about. It doesn’t matter who you are or how long you’ve been married… it happens to all of us. You wake up one day and realize that this is it – the honeymoon is over.
What happens then? Generally that’s when you look at that person laying next to you in the bed and you think, “Good gravy, I married a troll!”
It’s probably because you came home from a girls night out and found him sitting in his undies on the sofa looking all hairy and biting his toenails. Face it, every person has *THAT* one habit. That thing that makes you absolutely crazy. (For the record, Sir Megabyte has never done this. Thank goodness. *Shudder*)
I hate to break it to you, but take a look in the mirror. He kinda married a troll as well. And I don’t mean take a look after you do all your plucking, sucking, shaving, moisturizing, and whatnot. No I mean that bleary eyed moment when you’ve got hair going everywhere and still have morning breath.
I’ll admit, I’ve been married nigh on forever at this point. Why bother even counting anymore? I can barely remember life when I wasn’t married. So for us? The honeymoon ended long ago. Does that mean that I’m stuck with my own version of Shrek?
I don’t think so.
So when there’s trouble in paradise and you realize the honeymoon is long over and real life comes crashing down on your head… what do you do? Do you try to figure things out and start the hard work that is marriage or do you flee?
I chose to stay. But here’s the thing: I know I need to work on me. After all, Beauty didn’t turn Beast into Prince Charming by being a troll.
I will be the first to admit that I’m most definitely from Venus. I’ve always been probably a little TOO into the free love and berries. So what did this “make love, not war” girl go off and do? I married a manly Marine type man from Mars.
We really are two very different people. I like to tease him and say I’m normal. (As if!) Of course I blame his abnormality on the dangly-bits. After all, I don’t have dangly-bits and I’m normal. Right? Hmmm… I bet he thinks dangly-bits makes him normal and my lacking these very precious things is what makes me neurotic.
So my goal is to work on myself. If I can de-troll myself, I can be a better wife. In being a better wife maybe I can remind him why he married this troll in the first place. My thought is that this will lead to his attempt to also de-troll. Maybe we can even figure each other out, regardless of the dangly-bits status.
So what can I do to be a better wife? I’m kinda thinking that living in these sweatpants might not be it… but there’s probably more to it than that.
Last year I read about 90% of The Power of a Praying Wife. I’m not saying I didn’t pray for him before because well, there’s a reason these knees are flat… but it made me realize a few things. It is a fantastic book. I think that I would like to reread it (and um, finish it… I kind of misplaced it) and maybe take my time to really focus on each chapter some more.
This would in turn make me think about his needs. I don’t think I think about his needs as much as I should. He’s not a bad guy, really, for a troll from Mars. But I think he could be a fantastic Prince Charming given the right incentive. You just don’t go from troll to Charming overnight though. You need someone to love you, shine your armor for you, take care of your steed… that’s my job.
I’m looking for other ideas. One friend thought I should go all The Love Dare on my man. Hey, it morphed Kirk Cameron from a troll into a Prince Charming in that Fireproof movie. It even de-trolled his wife! I think that might be a good idea. (Said friend also recommended I blog this. Thoughts?)
Other aspects of Project: Me will hopefully aid in my becoming a better wife… however I have definitely not paid enough attention to this side of who I am.
Or maybe I’ve just been reading Project Happily Ever After too much. That gal’s got it going on, though. I have to believe everyone not only deserves a happy ending, but that they can make it happen. So I’m going to do just that.
Besides, it’s never too late for a second honeymoon, right?
Project: Me is something I have been working on to improve myself in various aspects of my life. I started about a year or so ago, but never actually formalized it. This is my attempt to record it and formulate goals. I feel this needs to become a real project. The only way I will ever find happiness is to become happy myself. Without working on myself, I will never find nor maintain happiness. Project: Me will most likely be a lifelong endeavor, but enjoy this glimpse of my attempts at becoming a better wife, mother, child of God… a better me!
Are you working on your own personal project? I would love to hear about it. Meanwhile stay tuned for: