OMG… hahah… this was so frelling funny. I couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks velvetcat By the way I added one… no one will get it but it happened to me when watching the first movie with husband two months after it came out. People in Ohio are weird.

Ok… with the final installment to Lord of the Rings coming out… The ultimate list of what to do while watching…


Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the
hell is Harry Potter?”

Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT

After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.”

At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: “I must go! Middle
Earth needs me!” and run and try to jump into the screen.

After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone
says: “The Ring.” Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts. And
if so, what house do you think he was in.

Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mr. Anderson.”

When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs
sing,”And I did it…. MY way…!”

At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians. -Talk
like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger
and fall down the stairs.

When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the

Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of Helms Deep” Monty
Python style. -When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”

Ask people around you who they think is the next “Terminator” sent from
the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.

In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout “RUN

Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!” <- *snort*
See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude
Elf hidden somewhere in the movie. -Start an Orc sing-a-long.

Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking
terribly confused.

Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire
and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took
place in your cup long ago.

When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout,
"I see dead people!"

Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda
would be like.

Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob

Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing, "The
Ambiguously Gay Duo!"

When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself

My add ons because… hello?! I'm cool and therefor I can. Or something…

At the end of the movie hop onto your seat, clap your hands, and yell "Bravo!" Because yeah, you are in Ohio and sure, the actors and directors and Tolkein himself are in the theatre just to see if YOU cared.

And because I can't resist… whenever someone is mortally wounded yell "It's just a flesh wound!"

Whenever you see the bad guys marching… start humming the Stormtrooper March from Star Wars.

And hello, when you are doing the conversation between Dobby, Yoda, and Golem… if you have a fourth throw in Jar Jar for good measures! 🙂

Who just came on screen? The baddie? Yup time to yell "Lord Valdemort has RETURNED!"

Oh gosh my sides hurt so bad…